Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
