Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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