maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
