Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
