Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
