He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
