I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
