maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
