just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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