And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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