he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
