Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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