Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
