I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
