she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
