I think I died a long time ago.
i just had sex bonerless
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
