battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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