i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
