Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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