remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
