Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
