Four minutes until I can fart!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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