I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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