Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think i got beer on your cat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
