The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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