At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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