when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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