More tranny stories later!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
