If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
