Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
