Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
