she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
