There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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