How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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