yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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