My first STD was from a foam party
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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