just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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