He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
