so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
