Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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