I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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