people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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