yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
