You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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