You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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