I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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