I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She announced her abortion via fbk
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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