Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
false alarm, still single
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
