Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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