..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
